MARRIAGE

 

Marriage is a union between a man and a woman ordained by God for the purpose of dependency, pleasure, and procreation. The man and the woman involved are not expected to be perfect as the union is meant to teach them how to work out perfection. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed not to be endured.

It is not good for a man to be alone; so God gave him a woman for his help meet. He took woman from his side that she might be pampered, loved but not from his feet that she may be trampled upon. She is a fruitful vine by the side of her man’s house. A vine is made up of slim crawling stem that needs support to stand; that support is the man.

He is black; you are white; vice versa. You are from different families, backgrounds, environments, cultures, beliefs etc. Growing up together as childhood friends doesn’t guarantee any similarities. Irrespective of all these differences; with love, understanding and God, the two shall become one flesh to build a home. God is love and love is God. Marriage mastered by God produces children who are olive plants around the man’s table. Such marriage would have successfully obeyed the command of God which says “be fruitful and multiply; replenish the earth”

• Marriage is the idea and the plan of God
• Marriage teaches people the true lessons of life
• Marriage is a project which requires planning, commitment and sacrifice
• Marriage is beautiful and it’s for a life time
• How can this wonderfully beautiful marriage be the great source of trouble in our world today?
• Marriage is for addition and not subtraction
• Marriage is for increase not decrease
• Marriage is for happiness not sorrow and pain
• Marriage is for life not death

Hmmmnn! It is so sad how wonderful marriage has taken valuable resources from many people I know and those I don’t know. Many people took precious time to prepare for wedding but never prepared for marriage. They forget the fact that wedding is for a day and marriage for a life time. I haven’t seen many but I have seen:

• Many lost their lives to marriage
• Many lost their peace to marriage
• Many lost their faith and beliefs to marriage
• Many lost their body parts to marriage
• Many had strange, deadly and incurable sicknesses through marriage
• Many lost their labour and achievements to marriage
• Many forsook families and friends because of marriage
• Many abandoned their divine life purpose because of marriage
• Many struggling to reassemble pieces of their lives shattered by marriage
• Many who were killed and died unfulfilled because of marriage

It is so pathetic how this problem with marriage has been exacerbated. I haven’t come across much but I know of many in the environment where I am presently who:

• Are living caged lives because of marriage
• Have become prisoners in marriage
• Have become paragon of shame and disgrace to heaven, families and their generation
• Are living another man’s life and destiny
• Have become who they are not; loving men now turn ugly monsters because of marriage
• Have lost their wombs and become barren for life
• Produced vagabond children
• Have had their destinies limited
• Are eagles living as chickens and leaders living as slaves
• Are feeders of nations now begging for bread because of marriage
• Have become premature widows

Beloved! The list cannot be exhausted. I don’t even know; except you tell me what marriage has taken from you or someone you know. Sweet marriage!!! Why have you done this evil to many? Friend I will tell you the truth, marriage is incapable of evil as it is ordained by God Almighty.

As I have said earlier, marriage is sweet; however, there are challenges to encounter, decisions to make, conflicts to settle, tests to overcome, tribulations to endure etc.; these are done in agreement between the man and the woman. The reality of this matter is that the man and the woman alone don’t make marriage. Other parties are involved. The more or less they contribute tells on the marriage. Parents and family members can’t be excluded from marriage but proper stand is required to be taken by the couple to regiment their contributions.

Despite the evil marriage had done many people, marriage is still good and divine. What then is the problem with marriage?

He who finds a wife/husband has found a good thing and obtained favour from the Lord God.  This means:

Marriage – God = Problems, pains, sorrow, disaster etc.

God is the centre of marriage, the heart of marriage and the brain of marriage. If God is not involved in any marriage then such marriage must not evolve. Majority of marriages today are not ordained and commissioned by God. God wasn’t consulted from the onset so he also acts as if he isn’t aware of it.

• Some marriages are by accident (Pregnancy triggered and ordained marriage)
• It is good to remain single than to be in a wrong marriage
• It is good to tarry long than to marry wrong
• In marriage, half bread is the same as none
• Some strange habits are danger signs to caution you of bad marriage. If not dealt with before marriage cannot be confronted in marriage
• It is a great tragedy to choose your arch enemy as a spouse
• To love the outward beauty of a man/woman is like loving a house because of its colour (colour fades and love is gone)
• Gift, talent and potential in people doesn’t make them your divine partner
• Not everything that looks good is good for you
• A parsimonious man/woman cannot make good marriage
• Marriage cannot succeed in silo; it is a fellowship among the man, woman and God
• Partners are to be dependent on each other not denying themselves anything (Resources including sex)
• As metal cuts stones and stones cut metal, the two are different people to achieve a common goal
• If you marry a spouse going opposite your divine direction, just bear with me that you are already living another man’s life

It is therefore important that God becomes the foundation of every marriage. When God is involved, marriage bed is undefiled before marriage (No sexual activities before marriage). This way the actual purpose of marriage can be manifested:

• Peace and joy are experienced
• Life and purpose are fulfilled
• Conflicts and challenges are overcome
• Evil thoughts and imaginations have no place in marriage
• Satanic third parties are silenced
• Your marriage is surrounded by a wall of fire
• God breaks the teeth of the ungodly and silence the oppressors
• God makes you fruitful
• You will amicably disagree to agree
• You will work as one flesh in same direction to achieve a common goal
• You will build a godly home which determines the peace of the nation (Children are leaders of tomorrow)
• You will reduce the level of divorce cases in our world today
• You will lay down good example of Godly marriage for generation to come to follow
• You will reduce the number of parentless orphans around the world
• You will add to the body of Christ (the church)
• Crime rate will be drastically reduced to the barest minimum
• Bad mind-sets many have developed about marriage can be changed
• Marriage will not take anything good from you
• You can be a source of encouragement for others to put their marriages right
• The glory of marriage that has been veiled can be clearly shown to the world

God is the author and finisher of marriage. If you really intend to be married, involve God from the onset (deciding whom to marry). Ask him about that man or woman you are considering for marriage. Don’t be in haste or rash as delay is not denial. Patiently wait as God teaches and direct you. Remember man proposes and God disposes.

In conclusion, you (the man/woman) need to allow Jesus in your life. He is the Way to God, the Truth to lead you and the Life to sustain you. Study the words of God to gain a good ground in faith and your marriage shall be a testimony. I pray for you who are single including me that you shall not enter a marriage that shall take heaven from you in Jesus name. For those who are already in it, may God in his mercy intervene and restore your marriages in Jesus name.

Gen. 2:18, Psalm 128:2-4, Proverbs 18:22, 1 Corinth. 7:9, Hab. 2:3, Isaiah 40:31, Romans 10:10

Your Brother in Christ: Ilesanmi Sesan Daniel